Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (2024)

Table of Contents
15 "Curse You, Perry The Platypus!" Nearly Every Episode Of Phineas and Ferb Has Doofenshmirtz' Catchphrase 14 "See? Solid as, I don't know, some rock-like substance." Phineas and Ferb, Season 3, Episode 5, "Ask a Foolish Question" 13 "How Does It Feel To Be a Loser, Perry the Platypus?" Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 2, "Happy New Year!" 12 "I'm Here To Introduce You To My Eight-Step Program." Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 25, "The Inator Method" 11 "But, you know, they are not really monsters . . ." Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 13, "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" 10 "It Occurred To Me While I Was On Fire." Phineas and Ferb Season 2, Episode 17, "Cheer Up Candace" 9 "If I Had A Nickel Every Time I Was Doomed . . ." Phineas And Ferb The Movie: Across The 2nd Dimension 8 "It All Began On The Day Of My Actual Birth" Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 5, "Raging Bully" 7 "But Then They Add Some Terrible Twist!" Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 1, "The Lake Nose Monster" 6 "Why Is It That When People Copy Their Butts . . ." Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 12, "Run Away Runway" 5 "There's No Beard Like Nineteenth-Century Beard." Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 18, "Crack That Whip" 4 "I Just Insulted The Macaroni And Cheese Recipe Of A Whale!" Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 6, "Perry Lays An Egg" 3 "I Picked The Wrong Day To Stop Carrying Garlic-Scented Throwing Stars?" Phineas and Ferb Season 2, Episode 33, "Nerds of a Feather" 2 "Let's Be Jumping Buddies" Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 4, "Just Desserts" 1 "It Will Be So Delicious To Know Where Perry Lives" Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 13, "Hide and Seek"
phineas and ferb

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (1)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (2)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (3)

By Mayra Garcia , Lily Emalfarb & Christopher Raley

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Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (4)

Phineas and Ferb follows the daily shenanigans that the titular step-brothers get themselves into during their summer vacation. However, it also follows Dr. Doofenshmirtz, the evil but incompetent scientist who uses his bizarre inventions to take over the Tri-State Area. Meanwhile, the boys' pet platypus, Perry, is really a daring spy who often thwarts Doofenshmirtz's plans.

Doofenshmirtz is an eccentric and comedic character. Fans of the show love him for his "Inator" inventions, his often ridiculous backstory, and his rambling monologues about evil plans and his arch nemesis Perry the Platypus. So it's no surprise that he has several hilarious quotes. From cursing Perry to introducing his newest invention, Doofenshmirtz is the source of much of Phineas and Ferb's humor.

Updated on August 31, 2024, by Christopher Raley: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz is one of the most popular characters in Phineas and Ferb, a show that depends so explicitly on its formula that expected lines combined with basically the same ending in every episode manage to be hilarious instead of boring and predictable. This article has been updated to include more hilarious lines from him and to conform to CBR's current publishing standards.

This article numbers the episodes as they are numbered on Disney +, which sometimes includes two short episodes per number.

15 "Curse You, Perry The Platypus!"

Nearly Every Episode Of Phineas and Ferb Has Doofenshmirtz' Catchphrase

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz plays a vital role in Phineas and Ferb and invents something new in every episode. However, being an evil scientist comes with a crime-fighting arch-nemesis. In Doofenshmirtz's case, it's Perry the Platypus, who manages to thwart all of his plans before the episode's end. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" is one of Doofenshmirtz's most recognizable quotes in the series.

Despite cursing Perry, Doofenshmirtz finds joy in their cat-and-mouse-like relationship, and it has made him one of . Without the crime-fighting Platypus, it would be too easy for him to get away with his villainous plots. Phineas and Ferb fans can always rely on Doofenshmirtz to curse Perry before attempting to get revenge in the next episode.

14 "See? Solid as, I don't know, some rock-like substance."

Phineas and Ferb, Season 3, Episode 5, "Ask a Foolish Question"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (5)

See? Solid as, I don't know, some rock-like substance. Cement, maybe.

In,"Ask a Foolish Question," the boys make a supercomputer to help them figure out what nice thing they can do for their mom that day. When the computer rattles off a scenario involving a a gallon of "industrial marking die," ballon, and a leaf blower, Phineas and Ferb along with their friends go off to make it happen.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has captured Perry the Platypus in his tower in the city. When Perry sneaks in to figure out what Doofensmirtz is doing, he is trapped in quick-drying cement. Doofensmirtz knocks on the solid block and, when describing how hard it is, he does what he often does on the show: searches for a simile and winds up just saying something obvious or convoluted.

13 "How Does It Feel To Be a Loser, Perry the Platypus?"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 2, "Happy New Year!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (6)

So, how does it feel to be a loser, Perry the Platypus? I mean, that's a rhetorical question. Course, if anyone should know how it feels, it should be me.

Amid his evil scheming to make himself the leader of the Tri-state area, Dr. Doofenshmirtz will often make comical asides that seem less apart of what is happening at the moment, and more a part of his continuing monologue about himself or his backstory. In "Happy New Year, when he traps Perry in a bottle of cider, he talks about how change was frowned upon in his home country of Drusselstein.

But since change is embraced in America, his evil invention, the Resolution Changer-inator, will change everyone's New Year's resolution to resolve to follow him as their leader. When Doofenshmirtz succeeds at the New Year's Eve party, he asks Perry how it feels to be a loser. Then, in an aside, he recognizes that he is the one who really knows. As if to prove him right, he chargers off to take over the Tri-state area, but no one follows him because no one ever keeps a New Year's resolution.

12 "I'm Here To Introduce You To My Eight-Step Program."

Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 25, "The Inator Method"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (7)

I'm here to introduce you to my eight-step program for ruling the Tri-state area--I . . . I mean, overcoming obstacles in the path to self-fulfillment.

Related

10 Best Phineas And Ferb Inventions, Ranked

Phineas and Ferb make the most of their 104 day summer vacation by building new inventions every day.

Phineas and Ferb was more than just a kid's show. They often worked not-so-subtle satire into the crazy shenanigans of the brothers and, of course, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and his arch nemesis, Perry the Platypus. In "The Inator Method," fans find Doofensmirtz in a hotel giving a motivational seminar. His introductory line says it all as the show's writers tie his slipped exclamation of ruling the Tri-state area to the path for self-fulfillment.

The show's thoughts on motivational speakers become clearer when fans realize that, of course, Doofensmirtz is not there to help people but to zap them with his Motivate-inator. Once he does, he motivates a room full of people to buy all his merchandise. Doofensmirtz's motivational speech about the "Inator Methos" is also full of great moments, like when he traps Perry and says, "The keys to a good trap are the element of surprise and, also, if you can work in a good pun. That's always nice."

11 "But, you know, they are not really monsters . . ."

Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 13, "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (9)

But, you know, they are not really monsters, just big stupid trucks!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz often gets wrapped up in the obvious, so his "clever" insights or witty remarks are really perfect moments for a good laugh. One (of many) such moments happens in season one when Doofensmirtz is trying to get investors to buy into his new line of monster trucks that are designed to look like monsters. (He even has one that looks like him). Because, as Doofenshmirtz explains to his investors, monster trucks are not really monsters, "just big stupid trucks."

In order to corner the market for his new line of monster trucks, Doofensmirtz makes the Monster Truck Away-inator. He doesn't know where they go, but he and his investors will find out shortly. As it happens, Phineas and Ferb are having a monster truck rally (in which Candace is learning how to parallel park), so when Doofensmirtz uses his Locate-intor to find a truck, it brings him to the Fletcher residence. Thankfully Perry the Platypus thwarts Doofensmirtz's plan, causing the Monster Truck Away-inator to send the evil doctor and his investors to another dimension where an alien eats them.

10 "It Occurred To Me While I Was On Fire."

Phineas and Ferb Season 2, Episode 17, "Cheer Up Candace"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (10)

You see, it occurred to me that what I really should be doing is fighting fire with fire. And by fire I mean Perry the Platypus. And by fire, I also mean Perry the Platypus. It occurred to me while I was on fire.

In this hilariously convoluted quote, Doofensmirtz is trying to explain his motivation for creating a series of Perry the Platypus robot clones to discredit Perry using the Plata-Proliferater-inator. In typical fashion, Doofenschmirtz has to detail how his idea relates to the truism and adds blandly that the whole notion occurred to him while he was on fire. The silent platypus spy has already been discharged from service and is now a target of his own spy agency.

In a case of satirical juxtaposition, Candace is devastated because she thinks Jeremy has lost interest in her, so she turns to a beauty magazine for advice. Meanwhile, recognizing that she needs cheering up, Phineas, Ferb, and their friend, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, turn to another beauty magazine for help. As fans might have guessed, the magazines just make the problem worse.

9 "If I Had A Nickel Every Time I Was Doomed . . ."

Phineas And Ferb The Movie: Across The 2nd Dimension

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (11)

If I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by a puppet, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

Related

Phineas and Ferb features no shortage of iconic villains. From Dr. Doofenshmirtz to Balloony and Mitch, there are plenty of evildoers in Danville.

Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension aired in the middle of Phineas and Ferb's third season. Fans love the movie because it features the long-awaited collaboration between Doofenshmirtz, Phineas, and Ferb. Doofenshmirtz invents the Other-Dimension-Inator, allowing him to traverse between dimensions. But when Phineas and Ferb break the machine, they offer to help Doofenshmirtz rebuild it. Perry wants to stop Doofensmirtz from traveling to another dimension but can't without revealing his secret identity to the boys, so he stays in pet mode.

On their journey across dimensions, they come across one where Doofenshmirtz rules the Tri-state area with a cyborg army. That Doofensmirtz carries a sock puppet with him and dooms everyone, including himself, to be sent to another diminsion. The sock puppet dooms Doofensmirtz not once but twice. He then reflects on this fact, noticing how it is that it has happened to him more than once even though it's such a specific situation. This iconic quote is so popular, it even became a meme.

8 "It All Began On The Day Of My Actual Birth"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 5, "Raging Bully"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (13)

It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up.

As Phineas and Ferb fans know, Doofenshmirtz has one of the most heartbreaking backstories. In many episodes, Doofenshmirtz shares a new upsetting memory with Perry, and the audience, hopting to gain pity. These memories inevitably end up causing the kind of giggle that fans can resist. In "Raging Bully," Doofenshmirtz shares that his parents didn't show up for his birth.

While it's clear that Doofenshmirtz is striving for sympathy, this confession is outrageous and impossible, And yet, it's also upsetting to think of someone who was abandoned in the process of being born. Some of Doofenshmirtz's stories are so specific and shocking that, although they are far-fetched and comedic, they offer some insight into why, in the real world, some people always strive for negative attention.

7 "But Then They Add Some Terrible Twist!"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 1, "The Lake Nose Monster"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (14)

[Genies] tell you to wish for whatever you want, but then they add some terrible twist!

One of the show's great repeated troupes is the moment when Doofenshmirtz tells Perry about his schemes. He often goes on long-winded tangents, and his thoughts can be as random as he is. One of his most notable monologues comes in Season 2 when he is bored on a submarine. He orders out for hot wings, but his phone call is intercepted by Major Francis Monogram, so he sends Perry in, and the platypus shows up with the hot wings.

After trapping Perry in an old diver's helmet and confessing that he doesn't really have any evil plans for zinc, Doofenshmirtz talks about his disdain for genies and gives Perry an entire spiel on how tricky they are, and how someone's wish usually comes with unwanted consequences. If you wish to jump high, he says, the genie turns you into a frog. While Perry attempts to cut his way out of the helmet with a file, Doofenshmirtz tells Perry he should be fighting genies, not him.

6 "Why Is It That When People Copy Their Butts . . ."

Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 12, "Run Away Runway"

Why is it that when people copy their butts it comes out perfect?

Despite being a grown man with a full-time job as an evil scientist, Doofenshmirtz is still a kid at heart. As such, when he sees a copy machine, he realizes that he can scan anything, even his butt. In "Run Away Runway," Doofenshmirtz invents the Copy-And-Paste-Inator, so he can make copies of himself to wait in lines for him. This ingenious idea would allow him to do several things at once.

When he admits that it sounds crazy, he points out that Perry has just been trapped by duct tape, so, "Who's crazy now?" When Doofenshmirtz's copies turn out less than perfect, causing him to toss them in the trash, he sparks up a conversation about photocopied butts with Perry. If only making copies of himself was that simple. In the end, his facsimiles cause a fashion trend for the "retro pharmacist look" until the evil doctor accidentally pushed the "Delete All" button.

5 "There's No Beard Like Nineteenth-Century Beard."

Phineas and Ferb, Season 1, Episode 18, "Crack That Whip"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (15)

There's no beard like nineteenth-century beard, Perry the Platypus. Anyway, that horrible statue must be destroyed as it is a constant reminder of my follicular failure.

Related

With new episodes of Phineas & Ferb on the horizon, several villains from the show's original run deserve to be featured.

Most of Doofenshmirtz's inventions come from a need to fill a hole in his life. In "Crack That Whip," Doofenshmirtz resents the fact he can't grow facial hair. He tells of his woes as he quietly traps Perrym also confessing that he has a bad headache. It's so bad, in fact, he can't even have a flashback to humiliating memories of not being able to grow facial hair. To add insult to injury, a giant statue of President Rutherford B. Hayes has been built in a park right across the street from his window.

As Doofenshmirtz shares with audiences, Hayes has "the best facial hair of all," so the statue is a constant reminder of Doofenshmirtz's "follicular failure." The hilarious realization causes Doofenshmirtz to invent the Bread-Inator, which turns the statue into a loaf of bread while simultaneously releasing a flock of Magpies that will file over to the bread and devour it.

4 "I Just Insulted The Macaroni And Cheese Recipe Of A Whale!"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 6, "Perry Lays An Egg"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (17)

I just insulted the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale! What part of that is not evil?

Doofenshmirtz isn't the most evil scientist, even though he'd like to think he is. But he's one of the weirdest, cleverest inventors and loves getting revenge on those who've wronged him. However, his ideas of villainy differ from time to time. At one point, ruling the Tri-state area with cyborgs is evil. At another point, evil is simply turning a statue into bread.

In Season 2, Episode 6, Doofenshmirtz thinks he's done the most evil thing a person can do: insulting a whale's mac and cheese recipe. In a flashback, Doofenshmirtz explains he was once dating a girl who had an obsession with whales. As a gift, he created the Whale-Translator-Inator, so she could communicate with them. Unfortunately, the whales were mean to Doofenshmirtz, so his girlfriend left him for the whales. As such, Doofenshmirtz gets revenge by teaching himself whale song so he can insult whales.

3 "I Picked The Wrong Day To Stop Carrying Garlic-Scented Throwing Stars?"

Phineas and Ferb Season 2, Episode 33, "Nerds of a Feather"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (18)

I picked the wrong day to stop carrying garlic-scented throwing stars?

"Nerds of a Feather" is one of Phineas and Ferb's half-hour specials. Doofenshmirtz moves away from his invention, the fill-in-the-blank-inator, and takes a more marketable route. Taking advantage of the Tri-State's annual sci-fi and fantasy convention, Doofenshmirtz pitches his TV series idea, Doof and Puss, to Jeff McGarland, a big-shot producer.

As Doofenshmirtz narrates the storyboard to McGarland, audiences see his show play out on screen. When the mayor, who is a werewolf, realizes that Doofenshmirtz and Perry are undercover, he sends ninja vampires after them. In a moment of panic, Doofenshmirtz vocalizes this iconic line, once again breaking the absurd tension with a quirky line faintly reminiscent of a similar recurring line in Airplane.

2 "Let's Be Jumping Buddies"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 4, Episode 4, "Just Desserts"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (19)

Let's be jumping buddies. Let's just eat dessert and jump up and down and up and down and up and down all day. It'll be our thing.

Related

These Phineas and Ferb songs keep fans singing long after the show is over.

Doofenshmirtz has never had a good relationship with his younger brother, Roger, because their parents prioritized Roger and loved him more than Doofenshmirtz. Looking for revenge, Doofenshmirtz creates the Bring-Out-The-Dessert-Inator to ruin his brother's dinner parties, ending the parties early with dessert being brought out first.

After Perry and Doofenshmirtz start using the Bring-Out-The-Dessert-Inator on one another, the two find themselves on sugar highs. They stop fighting and begin jumping for joy in one of Phineas & Ferb's funniest and most eccentric scenes. Even through the sugar rush, Doofenshmirtz tells everyone that he's the inventor and delivers one of his most iconic lines.

1 "It Will Be So Delicious To Know Where Perry Lives"

Phineas and Ferb, Season 2, Episode 13, "Hide and Seek"

It will be so delicious to know where Perry lives! I can ring his doorbell, and run away!

Doofenshmirtz is pretty immature, so he has several childish tendencies. While Perry is technically Doofenshmirtz's arch-nemesis by the fourth season viewers have a pretty good idea that Doofenshmirtz, like a child, just wants Perry's attention. So, while the brothers have shrunk themselves and their friends so they can play hide and seek, Doofenshmirtz enacts a plan to find out where Perry actually lives.

In "Hide and Seek," Doofenshmirtz fakes making trouble so Major Monogram will call Perry in to crash his place. When nothing is amiss, Doofenshmirtz shows Perry to the door and places a tracking chip on Perry's back so he can find out his address. Through a series of misadventures, Perry ends up cutting Doofenshmirtz off from his tracking bug. Thinking to have the last laugh, Doofenshmirtz presses the self-destruct button. Thinking he is finally rid of Perry, he asks, "Why do I feel so empty?" Of course, he always manages to find something else comically evil to do, which is why audiences love him.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Most Iconic Quotes (21)
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Phineas and Ferb invent, scheme, and stay one step ahead of their bratty sister. Meanwhile, their pet platypus plots against evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Release Date
August 17, 2007

Creator
Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh

Cast
Vincent Martella , Ashley Tisdale , Dan Povenmire , Mitchel Musso , Alyson Stoner , Maulik Pancholy , Caroline Rhea , Thomas Brodie-Sangster
Main Genre
Animation

Seasons
4
  • TV
  • phineas and ferb
  • Television

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